Kamui's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
by Sakura414
Summary: As usual, Kamui is having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.


I woke up in the morning and rolled out of bed like a zombie. For reasons probably related to Sorata, there was a large sum of whipped cream on my hand and face. My muscles were still sore from my latest life-changing battle, and I felt like I was starting to develop a cold. Groaning, I grabbed my uniform and went into the bathroom to start my day.

When I got out of the shower, I reached for my clothes. Sadly, my hand slipped and I ended up with my shirt in the sink and my toothbrush in the toilet.

And I could tell that it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

At breakfast, Yuzuriha and Sorata took all of the pancakes. Arashi made herself an omelet with her surprising wealth of culinary ability. Guess who doesn't know how to cook and therefore, didn't eat breakfast?

I walked to school with Subaru as usual; he hadn't eaten either. We decided to stop at Muffins Galore, the muffin shop, but all they had left was bran. I hate bran.

And I could tell that it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

I sighed and kicked the floor. "I think I'll move to Osaka."

But Subaru didn't hear me, because he was too busy in his never-ending spiral of angst. I picked up my backpack and took hold of his hand. I had to drag him all the way to the CLAMP school main campus, because he seemed to have been hypnotized when he saw the poster in the muffin shop reading "New Sakura Flavored Muffins!" It must have had something to do with that Sakurazukamori guy.

When we finally got to school and went our separate ways, I realized that I had forgotten to do my algebra homework. When I asked Keiichi if I could borrow his, I guess I must've offended him or something, because he threw up all over my favorite pair of shoes and was sent home sick.

Guess who got a C in algebra.

In English class, we were given a long lecture about some information which none of us cared about or retained. When Sensei caught me doodling comics about my battle with Fuuma in the margins of my notes while she was talking, she gave me a detention. I told her that I wouldn't be going, because I'd be in Osaka.

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

At lunchtime, I had to sit by myself. Apparently, all of the narrow-minded birdbrains in my class are scared of me because of the random scars on my arms. Though it also probably has to do with the rumors about me being a super-human freak (true) who jumps off of Tokyo Tower and lands on his feet (true) and has a team of side-kicks (true) who always help him out in his epic battles against his arch nemesis (completely false). My constant glaring probably doesn't help, either.

After school, I tried to take a nap, but Sorata had other plans.

I spent the remainder of the afternoon helping Sorata bake heart-shaped cookies for Arashi. Neither of us knew how to work the oven, so I ended up turning all of the cookies black and giving myself a second-degree burn.

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Since it was Sorata's fault that I got burnt, he tried to bandage it for me. Let me tell you right now that Sorata is not a doctor. One thing led to another and pretty much the everything in the whole room was bandaged _except_ for my hand. When Captain Moron tried to make it up to me by giving me burn cooling gel, he confused it with his toothpaste.

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

I picked up a blackened cookie. Just as I thought, it was utterly inedible.

"It's okay! We'll try again tomorrow," Sorata said, putting his hand on my shoulder.

I shook my head. "Tomorrow, I'll be in Osaka."

When Sorata went back to his sty of a room, Yuzuriha came and brought me an ice cream cone.

"Here 'ya go!" she said, handing me the treat,"You do like strawberry, right?"

"Yes," I replied, accepting the dessert.

I hate strawberry.

Just as I was about to take a lick, every last drop of ice cream fell out of the cone and into my lap.

Yuzuriha offered me a napkin and the closest pair of clean pants that she could find. I gladly accepted them and went to wash off.

When I came out of the bathroom, I realized that the plaid lounge pants that Yuzuriha had supplied had actually come from Subaru's pile of clean laundry. The trousers promptly fell to my ankles.

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

That night, Sorata was watching wrestling on TV. I hate wrestling. Yuzuriha made gelatin for dessert. I hate gelatin. Subaru and Arashi were playing Monopoly. I hate Monopoly more than wrestling and gelatin combined. There was nothing to do but read old issues of _Teen_ and _Shojo Beat _left on the coffee table by Yuzuriha. So, I decided to go to bed and end this terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

I stretched, yawned, and pulled the covers over myself. Just then, Subaru came in and turned on my lamp.

"Kamui, are you okay?" he asked.

I sighed. "Subaru," I said,"It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. I think I'll move to Osaka."

Subaru just smiled and hugged me and said,

"Some days are like that. Even in Osaka."

~Owari~

A/N:

Ah, yes. Yet another crappy oneshot from yours truly :) In case you don't know, this is based on a book called_ Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day_, which my mom used to read to me when I was little. My inspiration? The fact that every day is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day for poor Kamui! I really hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading!

As a side note, be sure to look for the shop Muffins Galore in a later chapter of Disorder! :)

I do not own _Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day_, Teen, Shojo Beat, or X.

Until next time,

Sakura


End file.
